Jacarra Winchester was celebrating her 2025 Final X victory, and Abby Nette hated every second of it. She doesn’t blame Winchester for being excited, of course. Despite facing each other for the 59 kg World Team spot, the two are best friends, explaining Winchester’s hug after winning the decisive third match. 

“I’m trying to hold myself together, and also at the same time, I hate my life,” Nette said. “This is not fun. It’s not because I lost. It’s because everything hit me all at once. Not only did I lose, but I no longer have my dad — and that’s just hitting me.”

John Nette, a 1978 Louisiana state wrestling champion, died of cancer on February 26, 2025, at 64. His proudest moments were watching his daughter, Abby, compete at home and abroad — especially when she took down boys at youth tournaments.

His overbearing style could yield days of silence between the father and daughter, but Abby always knew she was loved unconditionally. And she always knew her dad’s support was real. 

“My dad and I had such a special relationship because he always showed up,” Nette said. “He was there for all my stages in life. He may not have been perfect or did things the way I wanted him to, but a question I never had to ask was if he was going to show up for me or not.”

John and Abby Nette after winning a USA Wrestling stop sign.

Coping Mechanisms

People use buzz phrases like “it’s time to move on,” or “time heals all wounds,” or “get over it” as coping mechanisms, but they hardly capture the harsh reality of the void death leaves. 

Daily calls and texts cease. Talking through a tournament is over. Spotting your dad in the stands is left to one’s imagination. 

There’s an absence of meaning that every person deals with privately and personally. 

“I remember around Christmas it started to hit me: my dad is going to die,” Nette said. “I started to cope with it a little bit, but in actuality, nothing prepares you for this.”

Nette wasn’t prepared for the news that her WCAP coach, Bruce Robinson, and USA Wrestling’s Terry Steiner dropped during a ranking tournament in Albania — even though she knew her dad was nearing the end. 

“My dad didn’t want to die,” Nette said. “He even said that when he found out how bad the cancer was. In his final week, he was begging us to do something to end it because he couldn’t take it anymore. He wanted me to go to the ranking series. He wasn’t taking no for an answer because he lived for that shit. He lived to see me wrestle and wanted to continue seeing me wrestle. I think he was waiting for me to get to Albania safely so he could rest peacefully.”

No tears were shed when Nette received the news since she’d been crying all week. She was numb and confused since wrestling started the following day. Her opening match was a disaster. She fell behind 8-0 before mounting a comeback that fell short. 

“My dad’s final days made me realize that things we strive for in life or spend so much time trying to reach these goals don’t matter as much in the end,” Nette said. “My dad just wanted his family by his side. That was one of the purest things I’ve ever witnessed.”

John Nette with a young Abby

What's Next?

Nette wrote her dad’s obituary during her return trip from Albania. She immediately received messages from close friends and family and had an outpouring of support for two weeks when she posted it on social media. 

“Now, it’s a forbidden fruit that’s not touched,” Nette said. “It’s only been five months since he passed away, which isn’t that long, but nobody talks about it anymore. Sometimes, I feel like people expect me to be ok. Now is the time that I’m worse off because I’m starting to process it.”

For now, Nette cries at least once a day. The pain is real, but, more than anything, she wants to talk about her dad. 

Being around others helps, but sometimes she’s loneliest among the masses. She craves the validation of doing a good job, and there are times when wins aren’t as fulfilling because her dad isn’t around. 

Nette doesn’t want to get over the loss of her father, but she’d like to feel some type of joy. There are good days, and days when she wonders if the grief will end. 

Every person grieves in his or her way and at his or her speed — a lesson Nette carries as she grapples with loss.

“Wrestlers go through this and we’re still humans at the end of the day,” Nette said. “We go through hard life things. People don’t see that when you’re broadcast on FloWrestling. We have people that we love in our lives. We’re not some robots.”